Life Decisions....

Hey bloggie friends!
I'm coming to you from my desk at work....first day back at work in over two weeks and let me tell you, it was not easy getting "up and at 'em" this morning. But, I'm here, and I did it! And now that I'm back at work, it really feels like I wasn't gone at all (minus the fact that I am slightly more tan now than when I left....small victories!).

I've also been faced with a life decision, that I've been going back and forth with all school year, but especially this past week. Over break last week we received our offer letters for next year which included about a 12% increase in my salary from this year which equals out to roughly $7,000 more (if you are a math whiz you can figure out the pittance of a salary that I make now). I knew that after how many people left last year, and the fact that we had 5 teachers leave in the middle of the year (for reasons that did NOT have to do with moving or health issues...just due to sheer unhappiness), that the school was going to do something drastic to try and get people to stay. I also have to let them know by the 14th  (aka, this Saturday).

I've been going back and forth with everything, mulling over the pros and cons of staying and leaving. And, really, the extra money would be nice (about an extra $380 a month), but it won't change my life a ton. The year round schedule is realllllly nice when we get two weeks off in October, 3 for winter break, and 2 for spring break--it definitely helps the year go by in a better way. And my caseload of about 45 kids (as compared to the 60+ kids I had in Virginia schools) is a bonus as well. But, other than that, there's really not that much I can say for staying.

I think what it comes down to is, I'm overall not happy here, and only see it getting worse, not better. Yesterday I also had the revelation that I really don't feel like I'm growing as a professional here. I'm not learning anything that's really useful (other than how to NOT lose my cool when people stress me out....this skill I have perfected over the past two years here), and that's really not ok. I'm too young to be stuck in a job that doesn't really offer me anything that will help me grow, and to help my students better.

I still was going back and forth about it after talking to a few friends. When I was talking to MG about it last night (while simultaneously scrolling through Pinterest), I told him how I had been going back and forth about it and he asked which way I was leaning.  I said towards leaving my current job. And within a minute of that, I saw this:

I dunno if you believe in signs or not, but the irony that I've never seen this pin before until I was thinking and talking about this topic just struck me. 

It's a saying I've heard before, and I really do believe. I'm not happy at my job, and maybe whatever next job comes along might not be any better, but I'll never know unless I try. I don't want to give up on having happiness at work. I want to get back to a place of loving my job and at least SOME of the people I work with. So, I think the best decision for me is to leave this place.

As with anything, there are risks involved, but I'd rather take a risk to find some semblance of happiness than stay stagnant in a situation I know is not getting any better, and isn't healthy for me emotionally or professionally. 

Seriously, when did this whole "grown up" thing happen???  :)