Going the Distance: dad

Showing posts with label dad. Show all posts

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Dear Dad,
Happy birthday (yesterday)! I'm still in shock as I write this that this is your second birthday without you here. There's still not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, and wish you were still here. The moments Ella looks at me, and for a glimpse, I see your facial expression, or something in her eyes that reminds me of you, it hits me to the core. It also makes me smile, because I know that you're still here. Sometimes I see Ella look off into the empty space of a room, and I wonder if she sees you--I hope that she does.
There are still moments that hit me out of nowhere just how much I miss you and I cry. The other day we were leaving a furniture store and I mentioned how your birthday was coming up, and I just started bawling in the car. I miss my dad. That doesn't go away.
I wish you could see me as a mom, and I wish I could see you in the role of grandpa. Gosh, Ella would have loved you. And your glasses (she's quite taken with glasses). I'm sad for her that she won't get to know you the way that a girl gets to know and love on her grandfather. I'll always still tell her about you, though, so don't worry.

We're gonna come and visit your grave soon with Ella, once it's a little warmer for her. Just know that on your birthday especially (and pretty much most other days too) I'm reminded of the amazing dad I have and how lucky I was to have you for as long as I did. I always wish it had been longer, but the time we had, we made count. I love you, Dad. Happy birthday!

Love always (your favorite daughter :),

Jennifer

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Dear Dad,
I can't believe that your birthday weekend is already here (Saturday), reminding me of your birthday from last year. You'd come down with a pretty bad cold and were suffering through it. I didn't know then that it would be the last birthday that we had with you. I remember when I got to see you and give you your card, it was when you were in the hospital. I never thought at that point that you wouldn't be coming back home.
As I look back, I can't believe it's already been almost a year since everything happened. Mom and I have made it through, although with admitted struggles and breakdowns along the way. We miss you.
If you were here, I'd give you all the hugs I haven't been able to give you over the past 10 months. I know you'd light up when you saw me and my ever-growing bump, especially since you knew how hard a time we were having trying to get pregnant, and even during your hard days in the hospital, always asked how it was going. I'd relish you being able to feel this strong little girl kicking away, saying hi to her grandpa.
This year has been bittersweet with getting the news that we're pregnant, and not having you to share it with how I want to. I know in my heart that our little girl has met you already, before she made her way down here to be with us, and I know that you've been watching over us, making sure we're both okay, and that makes me feel so comforted. This little girl will definitely grow up knowing and hearing about her grandfather.
January 28th will always be the day that I celebrate the amazing man I had in my life, who loved me without limits, who taught me so much, encouraged me throughout life, and who I was lucky enough to call my dad.
We'll be seeing you on Sunday. It won't be the way that we want, and it won't be the same not being able to give you hugs and kisses like we normally did, but just know that we love you and miss you so so much.
Love Always (your favorite daughter :),
Jennifer

Friday Faves

Happy Friday, loves! Can you believe it's the end of April already? Seriously where the heck is time going??

This week has definitely brought with it some favorites, so let's dish!

Friday Favorites // Friday Favorites // Oh Hey Friday// 5 on Friday

{1} Travel Plans

I shared on Wednesday MG's and my big summer travel plans: cruising through the Greek and Turkish isles and spending some time in Istanbul--11 days of a dream vacation! We're beyond excited, and not a day has gone by since we booked it that we haven't been looking up excursions and different sites that are must-see/must-do in each place that we're going to! It's definitely a trip of a lifetime and I'm still kind of shocked that we're actually going! Bring on July!!

{2} Signs from my Dad

Since my dad has passed there have been a few signs that pop up here and there that make me know that my dad's around. This week there were two times that I think he was giving me signs. On Tuesday I was driving home from work and stopped at the grocery store to pick up something we'd forgotten this weekend. As I was paying, I reached into my work bag in the pocket where I keep my wallet, and with it pulled out one of the hospital badges that I wore when I went to visit my dad. I put it back and finished paying for my food, left, and on the drive home I thought to myself "I wonder if the date on that was the 26th like today" and sure enough when I pulled it out, it had Feb 26, 2016 stamped on it--two months to the day. Out of the many times I went to see my dad, most of the time I returned the badges but sometimes I forgot and this was one of those times. The chances were about 1 in 30 that it was the same date and I think it was definitely my dad letting me know that he's still around, even if he's not here physically.

And this sign is a bit smaller and maybe isn't my dad, but it made me think of him anyway: our white rose bush has started to sprout another bloom. But this one is yellow. All of the other buds have been white, but this one is a bright and vibrant yellow bud. As soon as I saw it, I thought of my dad. Don't know why, but I did. Even if it isn't him, it still makes me happy to think that it is :)

{3} New Recipe

This week I made buffalo chicken meatloaf. Sounds kinda weird, but it had all of the yummy flavors that I love (put buffalo sauce on anything and I'll probably like it) and it did not disappoint. It was quick and easy, and I'll definitely be making it again! #gimmethegorgonzola

Recipe coming soon but for now, teaser pic:

{4} Spring Blooms

I love that flowers are popping up all over the place now that it's Spring. My absolute favorite, though, is this tree that blossoms these fluffy blooms! I can't help but walk under this tree and want to squeeze them! (And when I do, a shower of pink petals falls around me which is even more fun!) It's the little things!

{5} Funnies

When you're watching a movie with your in-laws and an explicitly sexual scene comes on screen, and seems to last a lifetime