Bachelorette Talk


So much dramatic stuff happening in Bachelorette this season. But, kinda not really. Let's talk about what's been going down or should I say WHO has been going down? ;)
This week's episode started off with another cliffhanger from last week (seriously, ABC, this is getting old) with balding Ian confronting Kaitlyn because his ego was bruised that she wasn't into him. He goes on to insult her intelligence, and say (in an interview) that his last girlfriend was way hotter than Kaitlyn), he brags about going to Princeton and makes claim that girls would be clamoring to date him if he was the Bachelor.
News Flash, Ian: NO THEY WONT.
He leaves on his high horse, stating, after everything he just said about being educated and super amazing, "I need to get laid." Toodles, Ian!

Nick swoops in to make Kaitlyn feel better.
Shawn continues to stew about not liking Nick. The circle of Bachelorette life continues.

At the rose ceremony, Matt Damon look-alike and Josh (who still has the janked up haircut Kaitlyn gave him--why didn't he get that cut and managed so he didn't look like a psych-ward escapee?) get sent home.
The gang sets off to Dublin Ireland, and Nick gets the one-on-one date, much to all of the guys' chagrin. Jared and Shawn have a long heart felt convo about it while Nick is off walking the streets with Kaitlyn. Kissing Kaitlyn. Drinking with Kaitlyn. Kissing and manhandling Kaitlyn. Walking some more with Kaitlyn. Biting Kaitlyn's lip. Did I mention they were kissing??
(Look up the definition of "tonsil hockey" in the dictionary and you'd see a gif of Kaitlyn and Nick's date).

They have a night date at a church where the mauling, make out fest continues. Which seems slightly inappropriate given the background, but hey, who am I to judge. Oh wait...I'm here TO judge. 
I'm judging.

They go back to Kaitlyn's room to "hang out"...and little does Nick know that it's going to be with his "wang out". 
We hear the moans and groans as they go into her bedroom. At this point, Kaitlyn should have taken some advice from Heather Dubrow:
video
(In case you can't hear, she says: "my fancy vag*na is staying in my fancy pants, thank you very much")
Kaitlyn wakes up the next morning saying she doesn't regret what happened, but then has a full on conversation (seemingly with herself) on the balcony about her mistake, saying she will kill Nick if he tells the other guys what happens.
Nick makes his way back and no one seems to be aware that he was gone for the whole night.  He tells the guys he was invited back to Kaitlyns room just to "hang out" (he left out the "wang out" part) and Shawn is visibly pissed because he was invited back to Kaitlyn's room on their one-on-one, too. (No moans and groans were caught on that date tho).

The guys go on their group date which is kind of morbid--an Irish funeral for Kaitlyn who is laying in a coffin when the guys get there. Admittedly she is laughing and drinking  from a flask during it all, but still. The guys tell funny anecdotes/rhymes about her, the way she died, etc, but Shawn wins by saying that he doesn't blame her for committing suicide because he would have done the same if he'd had to spend the day with Nick (little does he know what they did during that time)...
It's also kinda weird that she had Ben Z on this date given his openness to her about his mom's death. But, let's be real, the casket thing is just weird in general.


After several heart-to-hearts with the guys during the night portion of the group date, Kaitlyn gives the rose to Jared. They go off to have a private dance while being serenaded by The Cranberries (whose lead singer looks strangely murderous as she's singing to them...awwwwwkwaaaard).

Meanwhile, Shawn is freaking out about not getting the rose, and is later seen going to Kaitlyn's room to talk to her. This is kind of how he feels about her:
{via}
She thinks it's about her nighttime tryst with Nick and is freaking out. And that's where we are left. Another cliff hanger.

18 comments:

  1. So as much as I dislike Nick on the show I took a peek at his Instagram and you won't even believe what you see...please go look and then we'll discuss :) I really really hate how they are ending every show this season - cliff hangers don't make me want to watch more - I actually am watching this season the least! xo, Biana

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  2. I'm fairly certain that Kaitlyn has awful taste in men. That can be the only logical explanation for why JJ is still there, and for why she'd sleep with Nasty Nick when she's got Shawn and Ben Z on the line. Ughhh. She frustrates me. And there's just something very strange about the way Nick looks. Like a huge, ugly baby with yucky Brillo-pad hair in a 34 year olds body. Wierd.

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  3. Haha dont you love all the cliff hangers? All of my favorite shows do them too and its so annoying! And Dublin?! Hey I can pretend to be interested in the bachelor(ette) for a free trip to Dublin!!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  4. Eek I couldn't read your post BC I have to wait another week to watch with the hubs. I'll be back to read it after I watch. ;)

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  5. I love your recaps of this season. I just am so bored with it I do other things while it is on and don't pay much attention. This week after watching K and Nick suck face for twenty minutes and the moaning noises coming from the room I was done....thanks for filling me in on the rest of the episode. I agree with you I cannot believe she took Ben Z on that date. It seems like a funny date but.....maybe the wrong person to take!

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  6. I was so heartbroken after seeing Ian's true colors! He seemed so legit and sweet... however, despite what he thought there were MUCH better looking men in the bunch. Nick. oh Nick... I hate him but I can't stop watching him! And I am quite jealous of the Dublin trip!

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  7. I look forward to these posts from you every week - hang out with the wang out! Ha! Is it just me, or does Nick give you the Jeeves anytime he's on the screen?! He seriously creeps me out and bothers me - if I saw him on the street, I'd run in the other direction. I thought the whole episode was weird this week - Ian is a dbag and never will be The Bachelor, I can't believe she picked JJ over Joshua to stay (I thought Joshua was so adorable), it was perverted that the camera people stayed in the room while Kaitlyn and Nick had their sexual encounter, and the funeral was odd and kind of disrespectful in my opinion. Alas, another week has come and gone.

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  8. This recap. I am literally wiping tears from my eyes. Seriously WHO COMES UP WITH THESE DATE IDEAS?????? Why is she sitting in a coffin? Making out in a church. It's like does she want to be struck by lightning or something? Keep em coming girl. These recaps make my day!

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  9. I'm not surprised at all what happened with Nick, and I used to kinda like him. Now he's just turning into the guy who bangs all the bachelorettes on tv. I felt awful for Shawn, and when I saw previews that she had slept with someone I was hoping it was him!

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  10. The cliffhangers are getting SO old – They’ve got to stop that at some point I mean they can’t have the final three and then be like oh wait until next week to see who the last two are. Ha, that advice from Heather would be VERY perfect for Kaitlin!

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  11. Oh this episode was so fun to recap & write about, so much good material!!! Nick just creeps me out. ABC subtitling their private time and not turning mics off might creep me out even more ; ) Those guys are going to lose it next week when they find out! I'm sure next week's episode is going to be crazy :)
    Kelsey
    www.thepeacockroost.com

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  12. This season is totally throwing me off. And I agree with everyone - the cliffhangers are irritating. I'm all about Shawn, though. I'm hoping she doesn't pick him so I can go and track that hunk of a man down ... ;)

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  13. I just love your Bachelorette posts because everything you say is EXACTLY what I'm thinking as I'm watching the show. Those cliffhangers and mid-episode rose ceremonies are driving me NUTS! Enough already! I for one find it interesting that lots of these guys have just up and left OR been kicked off. And while Ian was a doucher, I kinda agree. I don't find Kaitlyn likable at all. She kinda annoys me. Granted this is the first time I've watched every episode of the Bachelorette but still. She's not my favorite. Neither is Nick. I'm a fan of Ben H. Like huge fan. He needs to find me so we can date and get married. lol

    ok enough rambling. Cant wait for next weeks episode and your commentary! :)

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  14. Cracking up at your RHOC link-ins! Can't wait to see I(cky)an at Men Tell All!!

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  15. I love reading all your recaps of the Bachelorette. They don't show it in the U.K so I have to try and find some dodgy link somewhere to watch it! I hated Nick in Andi's season and I hate him now ugh!

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  16. hahaha I must share this recap to twitter my dear! I love you! xo

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  17. This season has been an interesting one to say the least! Your recaps are always spot on, love them! Xo, Stephanie

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I LOVE hearing your thoughts and comments--so, make my day and leave me some lovin'!