Thursday, June 11, 2015

Bachelorette Thoughts

Sorry for being MIA yesterday--lots went down on Tuesday and then Wednesday was Field Day at school so that, mixed with meetings, kept me pretty busy yesterday.

But, I'm back, and I'm ready to dish again about the Bachelorette!
(Even if you don't watch, read on for some funny/sarcastic commentary on "the most dramatic season yet" (not really)).

We start the episode with Kaitlyn  confronting Clint, who had the infamous line last week of "Villains gonna vill" and wanted to stay in the house for his man-crush, JJ...not for Kaitlyn.

Clint tries to sweet talk his way out of Kaitlyn kicking him to the curb, but it doesn't work. And while she is admonishing him in front of the group, his lover best friend JJ steps in and tells Clint he owes the group an apology.

Which prompts two things:
1) the best comment of the night, from Tanner:
"If you're gonna be a douche, be a douche. But don't be a douche and then throw your best friend under the bus. That just makes you an unloyal douche"
(and the winner for using the word 'douche' the most times in a single interview segment goes to....)

and 2) Clint turning into a scary monster. We saw his true colors...and we will likely see those true colors in a mug shot one day soon. I would not be surprised.
(insert inmate number here) {via}
JJ then goes into a glass case of emotions, complete with tears, semi-silent sobs, and slapping himself across his own face.
Nothing says stability like slapping yourself. On camera. In front of America.

Anywho, the group date happens and they have to rap. Props, Bachelorette producers, for coming up with the idea to have the whitest white dudes attempt a rap battle against one another.
Who would have thought that Disney character,  Corey, would be the most "hard core" of them all? After being white version of a Bone Thugs N Harmony member (not really), he  shows up in salmon pants for the night portion of the date.
You are an enigma, Corey. A freakish Disney-cartoon-look-a-like enigma.
{via}
And shortly thereafter, Nick Viall makes his appearance. With his signature Brillo-pad bedhead hair:
He tells Kaitlyn he can't let her potentially get engaged to someone else without trying, and wants to be part of her harem of men. Ok, maybe he didn't use the word 'harem'...

The men are none too pleased with this, including my main squeeze Shawn (aka Ryan Gosling look-a-like). When the men are together talking about this, they go about sharing how they will be mean girls to him when he arrives (not talking to him, etc). Macho. Flex those muscles, men!

Kaitlyn's one-on-one date is with, Jared, who still has a messed up eye, along with a few others who have black eyes (seriously, ABC producers, maybe next time you have all of these physical contact activities, you think it through and hold it a little later, so your dudes dont all sport black eyes for the rest of the season in their interviews).
{via}
Anyway, not much eventful happens on their date because Kaitlyn is thinking about Nick the entire time. Jared shares that he is here for her, and this is her journey. Blah blah blah. 

Kaitlyn also ends up on a date with Chris after an awkward group audition where he wins the priviledge of being in Aladdin on Broadway with Kaitlyn. A very small part. We'll call it a "walking part" because they walked on, and walked right back off the stage.
Chris seems nice, but super mushy and shares all kinds of sayings about "soaking it in", "drinking it in", "taking everything in" and other cliche statements. 
Where Corey looks like a Disney character, I think Chris might actually live in a Disney movie. He might want to look up the number of this little lady:
{via}
We are basically left waiting for Nick's arrival. Until next week, when hopefully more shenanigans take place so I can comment on them :)

15 comments:

  1. Ok, wait. Villains gonna vill? What?!? LOL! This show has so much drama! I dont know how you keep up with it all! And I agree, Corey totally looks like a Disney character. I'm not really sure how I feel about that lol!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  2. I didn't really watch this episode...I'm sort of annoyed with the program they are just using stupid breaks to ploy people into watching! I also really wish that nick v wasn't so creepy because he's so attractive oh and I wish that the bachelor producers didn't make it appear that he was the one that magically knew where kaitlin was...hello they totally helped! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  3. Seriously I never need to watch I'll just read your recaps. Girl I love you and your humor. Dying laughing about the salmon colored pants and being all mean girls to him. Wait I'm so beind are they letting brillo pad on the show (home boy needs some PRODUCT). Those are guys are creepy, seriously they look like plastic! Keep these recaps coming they are hilarious!

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  4. Haha, love this! Corey and Chris both kind of freak me out with their plastic-ness, ha! And JJ? Well, He's the resident crazy and I'm pretty sure it states in the contracts for this show that one crazy person must stay on the show and receive a rose every week for viewing interest. Because otherwise I've never understood how people like JJ and Crazy Ashley kept getting roses! And Nick???? Knowing what happened between him and Andi on her season, I don't see HOW Kaitlyn could be interested in him. Yuck. He's just smarmy. Ben Z all the way!!!

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  5. I haven't watched this week's show yet b/c I'm waiting for the hubs and he's been working late. But the "bromance" freaks me out and I'm not sure if it's for real or not. JJ is crazy for sure. I could actually say a lot about all of them but it would take way too long. lol. But I am excited to see how thigns unfold when Nick shows up.

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  6. Haha the JJ and Clint stuff was crazy!! You nailed it with the black eyes - what's up with that?! Dead on with Cory too - he actually looks like he just popped out of a movie! I hate that they keep pushing the rose ceremony to the following episode every. single. week.

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  7. I watched the first two episodes and I haven't watched since, I'm thinking I might need to start again.

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  8. I can't tell you how hard I'm laughing right now - I seriously wish we lived closer so we could watch and commentate together! I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought the Broadway thing was a joke - she was like freaking out and so excited. THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING. Oh, and the date with Jared was odd (I don't find him cute), and they even managed to get crazy Ashley on the show as a hairdresser.

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  9. The Clint & JJ fight was uncomfortable and funny all at the same time, it truly sounded like they were breaking up. Totally agree on the Aladdin thing! I mean it's cool that they got to be on stage but I don't think its an over the top gushing moment!
    Kelsey
    www.thepeacockroost.com

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  10. LOL this whole synopsis is so on point! He definitely looks like a Disney character, and I'm shocked she wanted one-on-one time with that creeper! I'm actually kind of excited Nick is back, it's nice to see things shaken up a bit instead of the same ol' same ol'. I'm pretty sure he's a fame-whore, but who cares. Honestly everyone on this show loves the notoriety and attention or they wouldn't be on the show :-P

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  11. I don't watch the show.. but man, none of those guys are good looking {to me..} Poor girl, she got slim-pickins!

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  12. This is a different season for sure!! I think Nick's really going to stir the pot!

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  13. this week's episode was pretty boring - I don't know what it is this season but I am just not getting into it like I usually do. Hopefully that will change once more men have been sent home?

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  14. ugh I'm almost at the point where I feel like Britt def would have been better! I mean Creepy Nick - reallllly??? Ew just ew! haha

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  15. Just followed your site, loving your page, so glad I came across it!!

    and why do all these smart girls fall for nick?!

    xoxo

    rkush.blogspot.com

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