Thursday, July 30, 2015

Stop The Hate

I've seen a lot of hate recently. And, sadly, I think it's becoming such a common part of our culture that we hardly react to it anymore.

With the increase in use of the internet, texting, social media, etc so went the increase in people's "bravery" to say whatever they wanted to say to others, while hiding behind a screen or device. Including mean, heinous and downright awful things to/about other people.

It needs to stop.

I don't want to raise my children in a society of people who hide behind screens and keyboards, saying things with the sole intention of hurting someone else. I don't want to become acclimated to this being the norm. It's NOT normal. And it's not right.

There are always people on the other side of the screen. Other people who take those comments to heart. Other people who have to internalize that hatred and somehow deal with it, whether they know who the person on the other side of the comments are or not.

Recently, a local radio host who is pretty popular in our area announced his divorce, along with a pretty detailed account of some things that his ex wife did. Listeners only heard his side of the story, and then within an hour of the broadcast, his ex-wife had so many hate messages on her Instagram account you couldn't keep up with it. Numerous messages calling her a whore, and unworthy of her kids, etc.
If what the radio host said is true, I don't agree with the ex-wife's actions, but I dont know her side, and why would it ever be my place to call someone else a whore or an unfit mother (when in actuality nothing about the story had to do with either of those topics)? Or even comment in the first place? My first reaction was how sad it was that they were getting a divorce, not "what mean comment can I write to her to really make her feel bad?" As if she isn't dealing with enough.

Why is it people's first reaction to call names? And almost always it's 'whore'. Kaitlyn Bristowe (the most recent Bachelorette) faced numerous comments, and even death threats from people about her sleeping with Nick. Yes, she is a public figure, but she's also a human being. And realistically if Kaitlyn is a whore for sleeping with someone that she is dating, then so are the majority of people in our society (not everyone, but seriously..)

Whether you agree with someone's actions or not is one thing. But I will NEVER get behind tearing someone down. 

There are people out there who will write whatever they want about you--comment about a gift your husband got you, or the way you're doing things in your wedding, a way you dealt with a situation, the type of house you buy or the way it looks, heck even a blog post you write.... People who just want to incite a reaction out of you. For what purpose? And, more importantly, WHO CARES?? If it doesn't directly affect you, then why is it worth your commentary?
The answer is: It's not!

These people who hide behind screens, spewing hate, show just how ugly and unhappy they are on the inside. And how little they have going on with their lives that they have the time to tear others down instead of doing something productive and positive with their time.
You know the saying, "Misery Loves Company"....I think it's true. If you're truly happy with your life, your time and energy are not spent writing mean things about someone else. It's spent enjoying your life and the people around you. 

If you have to tear someone else down in order to feel better about yourself, you have some things you could easily spend your time doing rather than talking smack online, likely to someone who can't, or won't, ever respond to your meanness and negativity.
We need to build one another up instead of tearing each other down.
Take the advice from your parents growing up: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

Ok, I'm getting down off of my soap box now. I just hope that we can all commit to being positive people and helping to support one another instead of being the first to throw stones and try to hurt. I promise, in the end, it will not make you feel better and especially will not make you a better person. We are all capable of more than that. 
Stop. The. Hate.

25 comments:

  1. Preach on sister! I could not agree with you more. It makes me SO sad to see everyone have so much hate and immediately judge someone for their actions. Don't get me wrong, I've done it too but there are two sides to every story and most of the time you only hear one so who are we to judge? And even if someone made a mistake, that's no excuse to call them names or belittle them. Society is messed up these days.
    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  2. I could not agree more with this post! I am so thankful that all this social media wasn't around when we were growing up and that you could actually go to school and not worry about what someone wrote about you online...I feel the same fear for my children and pray that it's cyclical and it will get better not worse!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  3. AMEN SISTER! This post is so spot on I can't even handle it. The way people react to things these days are so far out of control that I truly fear for what is in our near future. Ugly words & ugly actions have become a norm and that is just awful.

    I've gotten to the point of keeping more and more of my life private because I don't want to hear the hatred that people spew showing up in my life!

    Love this post & all your sentiments, lovie!

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  4. *insert slow clap here* Thank you. I know who you're talking about, and I don't know the whole story because I don't listen to his show, but it makes me SO sad to know what's being said about his wife. There's no way anyone could really know what's going on. I've never understood how people's first reaction can be hatred.

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  5. There is so much hate going on and it is really sad. Social media is both a blessing and a curse. People don't realize how hurtful their words can be. The hate seems to be getting worse and it's totally unacceptable. The world needs more kindness.

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  6. here here sister! people are so mean and cruel with their keyboards in front of them but are really cowards. and less face it - the mean and hateful stuff they say is just a reflection on to themselves. no one happy with themselves and their lives can spew so much hate.

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  7. Our world could definitely use a lot more positivity and a lot less hate, that's for sure. Hoping my kids will grow up with love as their guiding motive and will never choose to be hateful!

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  8. LOVE this post, I am beyond over all the hate in our society and social media being used as a platform to spread so much negativity and cyber bullying. I'm hoping there will be a trend away from this in the coming years *hugs*.

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  9. Seriously, such a great post. This gets me so fired up, too - I don't understand how people that hate on/call other people names and all that think that makes them the better person? It literally makes no sense to me. Loving that last quote, a great way for all of us to live life!

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  10. AMEN. This. This right here is such the truth. There have many times in the recent past I want to delete all social media because it pains me and gives me anxiety to see how people treat others in this world. And they do it for no reason & most the time it's something that has absolutely nothing to do with them, but rather an opinion or judgement because they don't agree with the individual. We have a 19 month old son and I constantly think about the societal issues he will grow up with in which his father and I didn't. All I know - I will promote positivity, individualism and love his whole entire life.

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  11. Amen! I don't know how people can bring themselves to use those words and be hurtful to anyone but also people they don't even know - you never know what someone is going through.

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  12. The internet is a scary place sometimes. I hate all the bullying and the computer muscles. There is a website called Get Off My Internet where awful trolls gather to bash bloggers. I wish it would get shut down. It makes me sick.

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  13. PREACH! PREACH! PREACH! You're my hero for writing this post. Amen, sister - I would love to actually witness these cyber bullies say the same things to someone's face in person. It doesn't take a lot of courage to say something mean when you're hiding behind a computer screen. It's ridiculous and needs to stop.

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  14. All of the hate in this world is so disheartening and i just don't understand it.

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  15. The whole world needs to hear this! There is so much bad in the world, but there is so much good as well. Why can't the good be emphasized?!?

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  16. Great post, totally agree! The world is getting increasingly negative and it's not the environment I hope to raise my future kids.

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  17. That poor ex-wife, whether it was true or not, she didn't need to be blasted at all, especially not over a public forum like a radio station. I agree, tearing people down is not the answer. I don't know where that became a thing. And it's just not a way we should live our lives. I hope Sophie doesn't have to see this when she gets older.

    liz @ sundays with sophie

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  18. Definitely agree with everything you said here! We can't let it become the norm.

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  19. I definitely agree with this post so much! There is so much negativity around lately why can't we all just be nice to each other. I will never understand why people waste time writing mean things to someone, if you don't like them or agree with them keep your mouth shut. Spend your life focusing on those that matter to you instead of wasting your time writing hateful things over the internet. There is enough hate in the world without people adding to it. All actions have consequences and the way someone reacts to their hate could be fatal. People need to mind their own business on things that don't concern them and keep their opinions to themselves.

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  20. I know what talk show host you are referring to - and I to thought, "How sad.. they're getting a divorce." I was shocked and numbed to see the hate spew towards his wife on various social media accounts. In fact nowadays, I am shocked daily about the hate spewed. People have taken freedom of speech and the safety of screens to say awful, hurtful things that are tearing down our society ... not lifting it up. This post was well written and well said ... thank you for feeling the need to voice these concerns ... My only hope is that there are more of us out there ... then those who feel the need to tear others down and contribute to negativity.

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  21. Are you talking about Kane? How did I not know you lived near me?! I cannot believe what people are saying to her!! The fans are going crazy. I am so scared for my kids growing up in this world. My husband is adamant about trying to stay off computers/phones around them so they don't get hooked early but it's so hard not to. Everything is on my phone now!

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  22. I am so sad about this, too. I am always shocked at the horrible things people say on the Internet I watched a TED talk this week about how Twitter ruined a lady's life because she tried to crack a joke and said something ridiculous to get more likes... and she got fired over it. She was wrong, but things people said to her were horrible and no one riped them apart. I think we should be positive to each other. There is so much hate in the world, why add to it??

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  23. I can't help but wonder what the radio host's wife's side of the story is. Even if she did something wrong, I don't know what the guy hoped to accomplished by discussing it on the radio. On a similar note, when single mothers bash their children's "deadbeat" fathers, the fathers often have their own side of the story (such was the case with a guy who I used to work with - the mother would have you thinking that he did nothing for the kid, but I would overhear him talking to people on his cell phone and trying to figure out how he could get partial custody).

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  24. Can I jump through my screen and give you a hug and a high five? I just don't understand a person's logic when they type mean and hurtful comments. Do they think because they're sitting behind a screen that it doesn't matter? To be truthful, these folks would NEVER say these mean things in person. EVER. They'd be too big of a coward...but behind that invisible screen? You betcha! I've always lived by that motto, "treat others the way you want to be treated." Wish other's would do the same!

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  25. I want to give you the biggest hug right now, you are absolutely right! I can't even begin to understand why people are so hurtful and mean to others! I love that last quote too! Xo, Stephanie

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