Happy Birthday, Dad!

Dear Dad,
    Happy birthday (yesterday)! I'm still in shock as I write this that this is your second birthday without you here. There's still not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, and wish you were still here. The moments Ella looks at me, and for a glimpse, I see your facial expression, or something in her eyes that reminds me of you, it hits me to the core. It also makes me smile, because I know that you're still here. Sometimes I see Ella look off into the empty space of a room, and I wonder if she sees you--I hope that she does.
   There are still moments that hit me out of nowhere just how much I miss you and I cry. The other day we were leaving a furniture store and I mentioned how your birthday was coming up, and I just started bawling in the car. I miss my dad. That doesn't go away.
     I wish you could see me as a mom, and I wish I could see you in the role of grandpa. Gosh, Ella would have loved you. And your glasses (she's quite taken with glasses). I'm sad for her that she won't get to know you the way that a girl gets to know and love on her grandfather. I'll always still tell her about you, though, so don't worry.
   We're gonna come and visit your grave soon with Ella, once it's a little warmer for her. Just know that on your birthday especially (and pretty much most other days too) I'm reminded of the amazing dad I have and how lucky I was to have you for as long as I did. I always wish it had been longer, but the time we had, we made count. I love you, Dad. Happy birthday!

 Love always (your favorite daughter :),
Jennifer

17 comments:

  1. Sending you lots of love Jenn - I have no doubt that he's around you both and I'm sure Ella has seen and felt his presence! xo, Biana-BlovedBoston

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh this is too sweet, dont mind me if i'm tearing up a little too. and how much does ella look like a mini you! sending all the love today and always girly!

    xoxo cheshire kat

    ReplyDelete
  3. sending you love. he's definitely watching over you guys! xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crying over here. What a beautiful tribute. Your love for your Dad has always been so palpable. He is most certainly looking down on you and Ella. Hope

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending you extra love today, he’d be sooo proud of the mama you are! xo

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a lovely tribute, sending you lots of hugs today. That is such a cute picture!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sending extra hugs your way today :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. This touched my heart! Your Dad looked like such a loving, caring man - I am sure he is looking down on you from heaven - all the best for the rest of your day - Europafox x

    ReplyDelete
  9. So very sweet! I know you had a great dad and that he's very proud of you!
    Sarah at MeetTheShaneyfelts

    ReplyDelete
  10. Such a sweet birthday tribute in remembrance of your Dad! I can't imagine how extra hard it is and how much he is missed around big occasions like birthdays, thanksgiving and Christmas. I'm sure he's looking down and so proud of you and now his grand-baby who looks just like you in that photo! Hugs xo Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sending lots of love your way!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hoping today is so full of love and sweet memories today, friend.

    ReplyDelete

I LOVE hearing your thoughts and comments--so, make my day and leave me some lovin'!