Round Two

I'm kind of writing this stream of consciousness, so forgive me if it doesn't make sense.

If you missed it, the other week we went to our fertility doctor and decided that if I got my period, we'd be moving forward with the process, which I did get.

So I'm back to trips to the doctors' office for bloodwork and ultrasounds (thankfully, far fewer than a regular IVF cycle), talking out financials with their adviser, ordering medications and shots (ughhh the dreaded shots)...planning my life and work around these appointments. Despite having gone through this, or something similar before, it's not easy. All of it is emotional, and draining, nerve-wracking, etc.

I've reached out to a few people who I went through everything with before and even some friends who haven't, but were there for me through the experience the last time and for the most part, everyone has been really supportive, empathetic and compassionate which is all helpful, even in the smallest way. Does it fix this for me? No. But it does make me feel just that tiniest bit better, supported, and ultimately loved.

In the face of someone dealing with this, just be supportive. Lend a listening ear, arms for a hug, comforting words.

I know I've written a post about the things TO do, and things NOT to do when dealing with a friend who is going through infertility, but I'll mention this:

The appropriate response to someone telling you they're going through this is never "I'm pregnant" or "The process is awful" (two actual responses I got). Even if you're pregnant, there are better times to share that information. And we all know the process is not the easiest, most comfortable or fun...but no one needs to hear that "it's awful." Thankfully I have other friends who have gone through this and have shared how NOT awful it is, which is helping to rest my fears and lessen my anxiety. They're both still there, trust, but I'm doing my best to focus on the positive. Because the scary, "awful" thoughts are already there.

Knowing that we got beautiful Ella from this process gives me hope.

Seeing my friends go through this process and have their babies gives me hope.

Having support and love from friends who have and have not gone through it gives me hope.

Looking towards the positive, while working through my feelings of fear and worry.

Anyway, if you've read this far, thank you. I promise all of my blog posts will not be fertility related, but given this season I'm in, it's definitely been at the forefront. I look forward to the day where I can put the fertility thoughts in a box, shut the lid and put it on a shelf in my brain for memories. Until then, one day at a time....