Sad News, Changes, Picking up the pieces

Hey everyone. This post is not an easy one to write, but here goes anyway...

I know many of you know that I was planning an upcoming move to St. Louis in order to end the distance part of my soon-to-be-2 year relationship (anniversary is in 6 days). During this relationship, we had had our ups and downs in relation to his parents and their view of our relationship due to me not being Jewish. Despite my willingness to convert, all of the conversations we've had, reassurances, plans, etc. "Boyfriend" called me after work yesterday and the first thing he told me was "I can't do this anymore."

His mind was made up by the sound of his voice. It wasn't a discussion but more of him telling me how depressed he has been with his family's disappointment and how he has put my happiness in front of his and really "tried" for 2 years to work past this with them. He hadn't told them I was moving there yet.

So, with less than a month and a half left to go before I was supposed to have him come out here and help me move out there to be together, after I had quit my job and told my apartment complex that I wasn't coming back.....he tells me this. Out of nowhere. And because I WAS excited, and told everyone, I now get to go back through all of the people in my life, and tell them "Just kidding. I'm not leaving" and explain the situation. I feel like an idiot. And to make matters worse, he changed his facebook profile picture and relationship status within 2 hours of our phone call. Knife to my heart.

I sit here incredibly numb since it was not expected in the slightest. I still have trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that just a few days ago he was talking about looking for jobs in other states, but wanted to make sure that I would be ok with moving to those places one day, because if  I wouldn't be, he wouldn't even think of applying there. And that our anniversary weekend in NY was this weekend. And now, I'll never see him again.

I haven't had a full out cry fest yet (which is totally not like me)....but it scares me for when that moment comes. I just feel like someone picked up my world, and all of my plans, shook it vigorously and then threw it into the air. I'm not really sure where I'm going to land. I have no job, no place to live in a month and a half, and the person I was looking forward to spending the rest of my life with has suddenly decided that he "can't do it anymore." Just like that. One day and it's all changed. I'm going through sadness, disbelief and anger right now, and it rotates from moment to moment, hour to hour.

So, today I am picking up the pieces as best as I can, starting the healing process, and hoping that my friends rally around me, both in person and my blog friends. I know some of you have started following me because you're also in a long distance relationship. I hope you continue to follow, as the next part of my journey will hopefully be the greatest part.

Needless to say I might be down in the dumps for a while and not as active on here as I would be, at least for a few days.....and I need to re-vamp the whole blog since I don't really want a daily reminder of St. Louis, or him, on here. But, I'll be around.

Just wanted to let you in on my life, as the winds of change have blown in.....


  1. Wow, I’m sooo sorry to hear this is happening to you. I been reading your blog for a while, you are an amazing woman, and right now i know it is herd, but you will bounce back from this. He is missing out on a great opportunity to spend his life with an amazing woman. But i know you will come out of this stronger than ever, and find a man that is willing to fight for your relationship.
    I wish you nothing but the best of luck. Keep your head up.

    I will keep you in my prayers!


  2. I'm a new follower, but still had to comment...

    My heart breaks for you and I'm very sorry. Nothing anyone can say will make it better. Know that somehow you will get through this and come out the other side stronger.

  3. So very sorry...what a difficult thing to go through. {hugs} Hoping you find many reasons to smile soon.

  4. Oh honey. I'm so sorry. ((HUGS)) I'm a brand new follower and hope that the next chapter in your life IS the best yet.

  5. Thank you all for your comments and support. I can't tell you how much it means to me to have so many people care, especially people I've never met in person before.
    It's been hard, but I am getting by minute to minute, and trying to get past the initial hurt and pain so I can go on and plan for what my future will hold.
    I really sincerely appreciate all of you who took a small moment of time to send some kind words my way. It means a lot to me.

  6. I am so sorry to hear this! You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers!

  7. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. Is there anyway you can talk to your boss and let him know that your plans have changed? Wherever you end up, it will be what is best for you! You are in my prayers!

  8. I have been thinking about you all day, but just read your post, and wanted to send virtual hugs your way. I remember so clearly the shock and pain of my last breakup. It truly is THE hardest thing I have ever gone through, just trying to figure out where to go next and how to make sense of it all. 8 years later with my little family now surrounding me, I can honestly tell you everything happens for a reason and your happiness will be here one day soon. I know that doesn't make it much easier now, but stay strong and surround yourself with people that love you (you are always welcome in VB by the way...short term or long term!)

  9. Jenn I'm so sorry!!! I've been a follower for a little while and don't comment very often but I just wanted to say that we're all here for you.. breakups are never fun. I'm sending you virtual hugs through my computer right now!!!

  10. Jenn I've been following only for a a few weeks and I know it may not mean much, but my heart totally just ached while I was reading this. I had a friend go through something really similar to to this last year and it was tough as a friend to not be able to do much as a bystander.
    What I can tell you is however all of this works out, you will be stronger. You have an opportunity that you didn't have before to explore who you are and put you first. Whether that is finding a way to stay where you are or really looking at where you want to go and make an adventure of it.
    But before any of that happens don't let anyone tell you can't stay in bed for a day taking the day off from work watching Disney movies and eating ice cream while drinking some cheap wine.
    When it's time to pick up the pieces and move, you'll know. *internet hugs all around*

  11. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry to hear this! Know that you are in my prayers!



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