I have been thinking about a lot of stuff lately, so forgive this post if its randomness (or seriousness) is too much for you!
I'm a big believer in "things happen for a reason" and also in the idea that the universe gives you challenges so that you can learn something from them. And, sometimes, when it feels like you keep having the same problem over and over again, it's the Universe's way of telling you "Hey, you didn't learn what you needed to yet. So, here it is again!" For example, you know those friends who always seem to make the same mistake with guys over and over and over? But then will be like "why does this keep happening?" And you sit there, knowingly....thinking, "well, maybe you shouldn't sleep with them on the first date all the time"....Obviously this isn't always the case, but just one example that popped into my head.
But, how much easier is it to SEE those things when it's not you? When emotions creep in, they muddle up all of that "common sense" area, so that only parts of common sense peak through. And, when your emotions are involved, you don't really WANT to listen to common sense. Cuz that means confronting something....dealing with an issue....and that it might not end up all hunky-dory like you want it to.
Fear sometimes keeps me held in one place. A lot of times I fear telling someone that something upset me or hurt my feelings. Many times that I have done this before (in as little confrontational way as possible) and they turn around and get upset with me for being upset. What? How is that fair? So, it takes a lot for me to speak up about something. Sometimes the fear of ending up alone keeps me in a relationship that, in my gut, I know isn't right. Sometimes fear of not knowing what else is out there keeps me held in one place (relationships, job, etc). It's hard to know if the next thing is going to be better, or worse. And sometimes the easy route is to just stay in place so you don't have to worry about the "worse" option.
I realize all of those things aren't healthy. And it's never good to let fear rule your life. I try not to let it, but there are moments where it definitely holds me in place for longer than I would like. And, I think it's those times that I let it hold me longer than it should, that the Universe steps in and gives me another test. "Let's see what you learned and how you handle it THIS time."
I'm in a place where I wonder if the Universe is up to one of its pop quizzes....and I'm trying to figure out what kind of a student I need to be.
i'm also always afraid to tell people when they hurt my feelings because they almost always get mad at me. so unfair!
ReplyDeleteI'm a huge believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason.
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