We've all met them. Those people who always turn things into something about themselves. Or, only talk about themselves, and what's going on with them, with no care for what's going on in your life. "Let's talk about me."
I was reminded of this when I was talking to one of the women I work with this summer about the end of summer checkout process (and what a HUGE pain in the butt it's becoming). And apparently she only heard the parts that applied to her, because the conversation went from that to how I can help her get a clerical position in the county. 

Uhhh...did ya miss the part about me being a speech therapist in this HUGE county? Like I have any pull whatsoever, anywhere (unless you want to be a speech therapist, in which case I maybe have a little sway)? I appreciate the compliment that you think I have such power, but in reality, I'm a lowly minion just like you.

I saw her later that morning and she asked me if I knew of any clerical positions in the other building I mentioned that I had to go to for a meeting this week. NOT a place that I work at, just a meeting! (Yep, you were definitely not paying attention to a thing I said...)

In those moments talking to this woman (or really, saying certain words that resonated with her while the others were discarded), I realized just how easily someone can make you feel unimportant. 

I know there are times when someone tells me a story and I feel like I can relate, so I share that. I wonder if that's ever perceived the way I took this woman's response to me. I feel like in MY moments, I try and say things more like "Oh, I can definitely relate because I had this happen....which is similar to your story"....more of a way of connecting, not making it all about me. At least, that's not my intention. I guess it's a fine line sometimes.

(And then, of course, you have people who think that they are FAR more important than you. Like, for instance, the person who asks you to change your wedding date, colors, bridesmaid dresses, etc because it's too close or too similar to hers....she has every right to have what she wants, but since I'm not as important as she is, I should change my ideas for my dream wedding, right?)

After my interaction with the lady at work, I'm definitely gonna be more conscious of being an ACTIVE listener, and not just turning things around and making them about me. Just another step in trying to be the best version of me that I can be!

You've all had this happen before, right? How do you deal with it?

(P.S. when did it become August?? What happened to July? My summer is dwindlingggg......)


  1. People like this are so frustrating...argh! My friend's just recently ex-boyfriend was like this...and trust me when I say this character trait causes a lot of tension

  2. I can relate to this post so much! (Yep, I'm doing it already, writing about me me me!) I think I'm similar to you in that I use examples from my own life and experience to show that I understand what someone is saying or how they're feeling on some level, and I am aware that sometimes it might come across that I just want to talk about myself the whole time, which really isn't the case. For what it's worth, I don't think you come across as self involved or self centered at all. It is a tricky thing to balance though, and I will make a mental note to myself to be more aware of doing (or rather, not doing) it!

  3. This post defines my entire extended family! It is so frustrating to feel not only unimportant but to have to repeat myself millions of times! I love your outtake on the matter and I to will challenge myself to be an active listener!

  4. I have gotten to the point where I have almost no patience whatsoever for people who are like that. It's seriously hard to handle being around people who are self-involved! I think it's great that you are making a conscious effort to be completely the opposite of that. You were never like that in the first place, but I think we can all strive to do better and be more conscious of others:) PS: I have NO idea where July went. It flew. Fall will be here before we know it!

  5. My coworker is just like. Literally anything I saw is turned around and about him. It drives me crazy. You can't win with people like that girl. They just don't listen and they sadly don't care. With those people, I just try to avoid telling them ANYTHING personal about my life or asking for advice. It just doesn't work. You have a never blogger friend in me, I'll listen. I saw you on the link up! :)

  6. I am so guilty of not listening enough. I think I have just found a nice resolutions for 2014! Listen MORE

  7. I think we ALL know people like that! Although, I'm sure we have all been perceived that way once or twice. All we can do is try to know when to listen and when to speak. It definitely depends on the situation. I don't think you are "that way" at all though, and blogging does help us learn to be supportive! Great post ;)

  8. I always feel like that when I'm talking to someone and I try to relate to what they're telling me by mentioning something similar that happened to me. I swear that I'm not trying to make it about me-- just to show that I can relate! But sometimes I'm not sure how to participate in the conversation otherwise. And I know that I am often guilty of hearing but not really listening-- got to work on that!


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