Things I've Chosen....

I saw on Chits and Giggles last week about the benefits of having a long engagement (and then this week about the benefits of a short one), and it got me thinking about the difference between every person's choices, some of the choices that I've made about our wedding, and even before and after the Big Day, totally not related to the wedding at all. Here's what was rattling around in my brain...(only spurred on by the blog post, not what she actually wrote, or any opinions that she did/didn't have).

Everyone is different. We have different personalities, different backgrounds, different priorities.

It makes us different and it makes us special and it makes us unique. 

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I'll never push my thoughts/values/choices on someone else, or make them feel like they are less of a person for not making the same choices that I have. They haven't lived my life, and I haven't lived theirs. Everyone is entitled to make the best decisions for themselves and where they are in their lives, relationships, etc.

Some choices I've made, in regard to my relationship, that I'm not ashamed of:

1) I lived with my boyfriend before we were engaged or married.

It was something that worked for us, financially, and happiness-wise. I was over at his place ALL the time anyway, and it just made sense (and was a lot easier for me since I didn't have to pack an overnight bag and cart Cooper around anymore). We were happier together than apart. We knew our relationship was headed somewhere and this was our next step.

It was an amazingly EASY and very smooth transition for us, and I'm so glad that we did it, because it has given us the time to really be together and create "our space" and "us." We're getting married in April, but nothing will change for us with the title of "husband" and "wife" because it's just that--a title. We already have that commitment to one another and have had it for quite some time.

2) We've had an engagement of just under a year.

This has worked perfectly for us for more reasons than just my work schedule--despite me wanting it to happen much faster before we actually got engaged hehe. We've avoided much of the stresses (and costs) of planning a wedding on the super quick and I can actually enjoy different aspects of the planning process without feeling that nagging pull that there's so much ELSE to be done. We also aren't getting antsy with how much time is left as we would have been if we had had a really long engagement (I know us...ok, me...being antsy would DEFINITELY have been a big factor). We took care of so much at the beginning that the rest has been pretty smooth sailing, so I don't feel like I've been all-consumed by wedding planning. And, we've been able to spread out the budget/payments over the course of the almost-year, too (one huge benefit of a longer engagement, especially when you're paying for part of your wedding yourself). Would it be nice to be married already? Sure! Will everything turn out perfectly and be less stressful for us because we did it the way that was best for us? Absolutely. And that's what's most important :)

3) We want to have a family soon.

I'm 30. I'll be 31 when we get married. I'm not old, but I'm not "young" either...I don't know how easy/hard/fast/slow it will be for me to get pregnant once we're married. And I don't want to wait, just in case. Plus, I know that I want to start a family with MG. I love him, know he's going to be such a great dad, and can't wait to see him in that role. Sure there are LOTS of things that will change after we have kids, but isn't that the point of starting a family? We're nervous about it, of course, because it's a HUGE life change, but we're also really excited for that next step. And, most importantly, I feel like we're ready (as ready as we can be, since you're never "really" ready)--we'll be married, have a solid foundation of 3+ years together, and we know this is what we both want.

Those are just a few of the choices I've made in regard to our relationship, that I'll never regret or let anyone hold against me. They were/are the perfect decisions for us, and they'll remain that way. I'll never judge someone for making a different choice than I have. Your life is yours to live the best way for you, no matter what someone else, who hasn't lived your life, may think or feel. Do you! :)

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