There are lots of things that you learn as you plan and execute a wedding and today I'm sharing my take on the things that I learned throughout the whole process.
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I knew this going in, but once you start planning, you realize just HOW expensive things can be (and why people decide to have destination weddings). I warned MG on every new step (flowers, cake, etc) approximately what our others friends had spent just to prepare him for the sticker shock. Usually there was a lot of "Are you serious???"
We cut corners on things by doing DIY stuff (my thank you cards for the bridal showers, our wedding programs, etc), but everything was still pricy.
1b) Pinterest has some great ideas, but in reality, most of those things are UBER expensive. You're wedding doesn't have to cost a fortune in order to be beautiful.
If the wedding drama story wasn't enough to fill this category, I don't know what else is. Sometimes people get a little nuts--sometimes it's your 'friends' who don't show up for you during one of the happiest times of your life and sometimes YOU as the bride turn into a psycho. Luckily my bridesmaids commented all the time about how un-bridezilla-like I was (I did everything in my power to NOT be that girl), but the first part is definitely true for me. The wedding drama couple put a damper on things for sure, and then some friends who I thought would be there for me during everything really weren't (one of them was even talking about me behind my back the week before my wedding) and that just sucked. If you can't be there for me during the happier parts of my life, what makes me think you'll be there for the crappy times? I re-evaluated a few friendships before and after the wedding was over.
1b) Pinterest has some great ideas, but in reality, most of those things are UBER expensive. You're wedding doesn't have to cost a fortune in order to be beautiful.
2) You learn a lot about people, and see their true colors
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3) You realize just HOW lucky and blessed you are
I knew I was marrying into a wonderful family, and that my friends were awesome (minus the few from #2), but you really see it on your wedding day and the time leading up to it, when your friends are 100% there for you, sharing in your excitement, and everything surrounding the day. It really makes you realize just how blessed you are to have these amazing people in your life.
4)You have to rely on others, and garnish the control a little bit
In order to not drive yourself crazy, you have to rely on others. Someone else is throwing your bridal shower, someone else is setting up your wedding venue, someone else is putting your bouquets together, someone else is making and delivering your cake. You have to trust that it will get done. Do the things that you can, use your judgement and gut feeling when picking out vendors, and just roll with it. Don't be the person who stalks and calls incessantly. People will be that much LESS likely to go out of their way to help you if you bug them all the time. And probably more likely to mess something up.
5) Some people don't give good gifts....and that's okay
This one sounds greedy, but it's not meant that way...hear me out. Although it's not technically required that people give you a gift for your wedding, it's at least socially expected that people will come to your wedding and bring a gift, or a card at the very least, especially if they aren't travelling for your wedding. Some people will not get you anything, some people's gifts won't cover the cost of their plate by a long shot, and some people won't match what you gave for their wedding. Some people won't even bring you a card. And you have to be ok with it.
Because at the end of the day, you married the person you love. And if others didn't want to, or couldn't, participate in the giving, they don't have to.
6) Some people are extremely generous
Just as some people don't give gifts/cards, you will be just as surprised about how generous people are. We were overwhelmed at not only the gifts that people gave us, but the sweet cards with personal and touching messages in them. It was absolutely heartwarming. I mentioned it before, but I cried on our drive home from the hotel because of how overwhelmed I felt at people's generosity and how genuinely happy so many people were for us. This also helps you realize #3 :) I still have lots of the cards people gave us for our wedding because of how much they meant to me.
There are a million other things that you learn when planning your wedding, but these were some of the top ones that stuck out to me during/after everything.
Married ladies, what stuck out to you?
In order to not drive yourself crazy, you have to rely on others. Someone else is throwing your bridal shower, someone else is setting up your wedding venue, someone else is putting your bouquets together, someone else is making and delivering your cake. You have to trust that it will get done. Do the things that you can, use your judgement and gut feeling when picking out vendors, and just roll with it. Don't be the person who stalks and calls incessantly. People will be that much LESS likely to go out of their way to help you if you bug them all the time. And probably more likely to mess something up.
5) Some people don't give good gifts....and that's okay
This one sounds greedy, but it's not meant that way...hear me out. Although it's not technically required that people give you a gift for your wedding, it's at least socially expected that people will come to your wedding and bring a gift, or a card at the very least, especially if they aren't travelling for your wedding. Some people will not get you anything, some people's gifts won't cover the cost of their plate by a long shot, and some people won't match what you gave for their wedding. Some people won't even bring you a card. And you have to be ok with it.
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6) Some people are extremely generous
Just as some people don't give gifts/cards, you will be just as surprised about how generous people are. We were overwhelmed at not only the gifts that people gave us, but the sweet cards with personal and touching messages in them. It was absolutely heartwarming. I mentioned it before, but I cried on our drive home from the hotel because of how overwhelmed I felt at people's generosity and how genuinely happy so many people were for us. This also helps you realize #3 :) I still have lots of the cards people gave us for our wedding because of how much they meant to me.
There are a million other things that you learn when planning your wedding, but these were some of the top ones that stuck out to me during/after everything.
Married ladies, what stuck out to you?
Yes. Expensive is definitely the word. It's ridiculous!!
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Lord expensive, but in the end so worth it.
ReplyDeleteI agree, weddings do sometimes bring out people's true colors, especially with jealous "friends". All the planning and expense is stressful but in the end worth it!
ReplyDeleteAgree with every thing on this list! I loved our wedding, but definitely do not want to have to do it ever again.
ReplyDeleteLove this - all of these are so true. I agree about realizing how blessed you are - it is so fun to have people genuinely excited for your marriage ...or maybe it's the party, but whatevs! :)
ReplyDeleteI read through your drama posts and I have to agree that that is some pretty crazy stuff she said. Oh, well. Guess some people don't know how to be happy unless they're the happiEST. How great that you can be happy despite the haters :)
ReplyDeleteThese are so true, I definitely realized how blessed we were, I had never expected so many people to travel for us, or the generosity they would show! I was really terrible at giving up control, I think maybe because we were planning the wedding 15 hours away from where we lived, so really just the 2 of us had a clear idea of what we wanted- and we had all the supplies and everyone else was too far to help! I am still so bummed you had so much drama to deal with.
ReplyDeleteWeddings are a great way to get everyone you love in one place and those that love you ..... and those who come just to talk crap about you behind your back.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written post - and SO true! Goodness I could go on and on about all of the points you make because they absolutely applied to our wedding as well...especially the generosity. Wowsah that was totally unexpected and completely amazing!
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