Wedding Drama: Update

I realized when looking back at some of my old posts, that I never filled you guys in on what happened after the wedding drama where MG's friends (we can use air quotes around "friends" now) asked us to change our wedding date, and then the girl in the relationship sent me an email basically telling me that I couldn't have the same colors, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen attire, songs, invitations, etc that she had. Read about that here to refresh your memory.

As much as I want to put this behind me, I wanted to update you guys so that you're aware of what's been going on, because, let's be real, it is bat-sh*t crazy.

So, after their friend passed away, we decided to ignore the email and hoped that it would go away and not be brought up again. Well, the friend's funeral was that Saturday and on Monday morning I got this email from the girl:

"Just re-sending this to you, to ensure that you got it. Thanks. " and then she re-sent the email that she'd previously sent.

So, at that point we knew we had to deal with it. MG and I wrote up a response and sent it to her later that night. Here's what it said:

Hi {R},

  Neither of us responded to your email because it seemed inappropriate to talk about any of this when you guys were dealing with the loss of a friend. We were surprised to see your email last weekend, in general, and given what was going on. With any passing, it puts things into perspective and it has made us focus even more on what is really important in life, because you never know what can happen.

 If the things you mentioned in your email bother you, it's unfortunate, but our focus for our wedding is on the bonds we are bringing to our future marriage. We are excited to spend the rest of our lives together and to be married. That is what is truly important to us. Five years from now, what color our wedding was or your wedding was, isn't going to matter. So, I think it's best if we both focus on what is going to make this day special and memorable for us, and on the important stuff here, which is planning a future with our significant others that is going to be strong and lasting. Not the details of one day of the rest of our lives. We want your day to be exactly what you want it to be and how you’ve pictured it, and we know you want the same for us. So, no need to stress one another out with coordinating even more details (after all, there are already so many as it is with wedding planning, as you know). We will continue planning for our ideal wedding day, just as you guys are, and even if there are some similar features, both wedding days will be unique and special to us, our friends, and our families. :)

Jenn and {MG}

The next morning, I got this email back from her:

Hi Jenn,

Thanks for the response!  I didn't want there to be any tension while we plan our weddings, and like I said before, I am sure both of ourweddings will be beautiful and a lot of fun.  Good luck with everything. 

Hoping that would be the end of it (but knowing it wasn't likely), we dropped it. And then we found out that they were going around to different people in the group, telling them that we told them they dealt with their friends' death inappropriately, and various other lies about what the email said. In actuality, our email does NOT say anything about that. And in reality, we hadn't said a word about this to any of our mutual friends, we hadn't sought them out to tell our "side" (even though we wanted to). People have come to us to tell us how ridiculous they think it is, and to tell us what is being said about us.

Also, this girl, who "didn't want there to be any tension" now refuses to acknowledge me at social gatherings and leaves me off of emails to the group and invitations to things.  Basically, I'm being 'punished' for planning the wedding that I've always dreamed of. So much for no tension....

What I've realized through this whole thing is mainly that it must suck to be so unhappy, that someone else's happiness in some way threatens your own. Truly happy people are capable of being happy for someone else's happiness. Not to mention the fact that not only are they NOT happy for us, but are going out of their way to tell lies about us that attack our character. I would NEVER tell someone how they should/shouldn't respond or react to a death. It's not my place. THAT part bothers me the most....that they are telling people these things that are blatant lies about the people we are.  

So, as much as possible, we are trying to ignore and avoid them at all costs and every opportunity that we can, and if people ask us what happened, we tell them. Whenever that happens, the response has 100% been "it's ridiculous."

That's where we're at. I'd LOVE to hear your comments and thoughts! :)