Thursday, September 5, 2013

Wedding Drama: Update

I realized when looking back at some of my old posts, that I never filled you guys in on what happened after the wedding drama where MG's friends (we can use air quotes around "friends" now) asked us to change our wedding date, and then the girl in the relationship sent me an email basically telling me that I couldn't have the same colors, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen attire, songs, invitations, etc that she had. Read about that here to refresh your memory.

As much as I want to put this behind me, I wanted to update you guys so that you're aware of what's been going on, because, let's be real, it is bat-sh*t crazy.

So, after their friend passed away, we decided to ignore the email and hoped that it would go away and not be brought up again. Well, the friend's funeral was that Saturday and on Monday morning I got this email from the girl:

"Just re-sending this to you, to ensure that you got it. Thanks. " and then she re-sent the email that she'd previously sent.

So, at that point we knew we had to deal with it. MG and I wrote up a response and sent it to her later that night. Here's what it said:

Hi {R},
  Neither of us responded to your email because it seemed inappropriate to talk about any of this when you guys were dealing with the loss of a friend. We were surprised to see your email last weekend, in general, and given what was going on. With any passing, it puts things into perspective and it has made us focus even more on what is really important in life, because you never know what can happen.
 If the things you mentioned in your email bother you, it's unfortunate, but our focus for our wedding is on the bonds we are bringing to our future marriage. We are excited to spend the rest of our lives together and to be married. That is what is truly important to us. Five years from now, what color our wedding was or your wedding was, isn't going to matter. So, I think it's best if we both focus on what is going to make this day special and memorable for us, and on the important stuff here, which is planning a future with our significant others that is going to be strong and lasting. Not the details of one day of the rest of our lives. We want your day to be exactly what you want it to be and how you’ve pictured it, and we know you want the same for us. So, no need to stress one another out with coordinating even more details (after all, there are already so many as it is with wedding planning, as you know). We will continue planning for our ideal wedding day, just as you guys are, and even if there are some similar features, both wedding days will be unique and special to us, our friends, and our families. :)
Jenn and {MG}

The next morning, I got this email back from her:

Hi Jenn,
Thanks for the response!  I didn't want there to be any tension while we plan our weddings, and like I said before, I am sure both of ourweddings will be beautiful and a lot of fun.  Good luck with everything. 

Hoping that would be the end of it (but knowing it wasn't likely), we dropped it. And then we found out that they were going around to different people in the group, telling them that we told them they dealt with their friends' death inappropriately, and various other lies about what the email said. In actuality, our email does NOT say anything about that. And in reality, we hadn't said a word about this to any of our mutual friends, we hadn't sought them out to tell our "side" (even though we wanted to). People have come to us to tell us how ridiculous they think it is, and to tell us what is being said about us.

Also, this girl, who "didn't want there to be any tension" now refuses to acknowledge me at social gatherings and leaves me off of emails to the group and invitations to things.  Basically, I'm being 'punished' for planning the wedding that I've always dreamed of. So much for no tension....

What I've realized through this whole thing is mainly that it must suck to be so unhappy, that someone else's happiness in some way threatens your own. Truly happy people are capable of being happy for someone else's happiness. Not to mention the fact that not only are they NOT happy for us, but are going out of their way to tell lies about us that attack our character. I would NEVER tell someone how they should/shouldn't respond or react to a death. It's not my place. THAT part bothers me the most....that they are telling people these things that are blatant lies about the people we are.  

So, as much as possible, we are trying to ignore and avoid them at all costs and every opportunity that we can, and if people ask us what happened, we tell them. Whenever that happens, the response has 100% been "it's ridiculous."

That's where we're at. I'd LOVE to hear your comments and thoughts! :)

12 comments:

  1. I think you totally nailed it when you wrote, "truly happy people are capable of being happy for someone else's happiness." That's it in a nutshell right there. For some reason, this girl - or this couple - isn't truly happy. And therefore, she (or they) feel the need to take that frustration out on you and MG because they see and feel that you two ARE truly happy. It makes me sad for her, honestly. But, at the same time, there's just no excuse for the poor behavior she's showing in the way she treats you and in the lies she has attempted to spread. That's ridiculous. I think you and MG are handling it in the best way possible, and your email back to her was very mature and well-written!

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  2. Wow, that girl has issues and is a total bridezilla. So sorry you are having to deal with her BS while you're planning the happiest day and the rest of your lives together. Brush it off and don't let her rain on your parade! Y'all are doing the right thing by taking the high road. :)

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  3. That girl genuinely seems like a drama-magnet. As soon as you'd squashed the whole wedding tension issue, this new dealing-with-the-death issue came up. Sounds like she just wants to start drama...and most likely, because she wants to divert attention from something or someone else in her life.

    Honestly, I know it's hard because y'all have a lot of mutual friends...but hopefully most of your other friends act like real adults and don't indulge her when she talks about you. If it were me? Peace and blessings to that B.

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  4. drama drama drama. just re-reading this stresses me out. i'm shocked you have any hair left on your head. good for you for wearing your big girl panties and dealing with it like a pro.

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  5. That is the craziest most asinine thing I've ever seen (or read ha). I think this girl should mind her P's and Q's and worry about her own dang wedding! Who died and made her the queen of the land?! I don't think you could have handled it any better.. Keep on doing what y'all are doing, they look foolish!

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  6. O.M.G. I can't believe she re-sent that email!! What a crazy person. Sorry you're having to deal with it, but it sounds like you're dealing with it pretty well!

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  7. Your email rocked! I was so impressed reading it ... the way you worded everything and squashed her ridiculousness, was awesome. I'm going to go with this girl is clearly jealous and bat shit cray!

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  8. OH MY GOODNESS! I think you two handled it SO WELL... that girl is nutso. She does know that ultimately, it's about the marriage and NOT the wedding, right? You guys keep doing what you're doing!

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  9. I think you two have handled it very maturely and sensibly and she's clearly set on being a nutcase. I've said before she has absolutely no right to try and dictate to you how or when your wedding should be, and the fact that she resent that email just shows that she's really not focusing on what is actually important in her life if she'd rather concentrate on yours!

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  10. I had been wondering about what happened here. Obviously this girl's true colors are showing through. Unfortunately you are stuck with bad things being said, but at the end of the day you (and MG) are being the bigger person and that's what is important. Don't let anyone/anything put a damper on your day. I'm sure it's going to be perfect. :)

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  11. I'm positive that everyone that knows you and MG KNOWS that you guys are NOT the problems and that she's the unhappy one. You two are completely in the right and have handled yourself with class. That chick needs to get a life.

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  12. My jaw dropped reading both stories of drama! Sorry you had to deal with that as I know it's stressful even though you hadn't done anything wrong!
    Glad you kept your head high throughout the whole thing!

    xo

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