Wednesday, January 21, 2015

In theory.....In Reality



In theory, the people who put those statue lions outside of their houses/palaces do so to make it look more regal and elegant....but in reality, they're usually in front of tiny houses, which makes them just look strange and misplaced instead of grand and regal.


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In theory, people with expensive fancy sports cars and vanity plates like "1M 2SEXY" are telling the world just how cool and awesome they are.....In reality, they're broadcasting something completely opposite (there's actually a tumblr for douchey license plates). Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back and complementing yourself on how awesome you are!
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In theory, people talk crap about other people because they think they are better than them.....In reality, if they're spending their time talking crap and spreading lies about someone else, they're no better than the crap they are talking.

In theory, 'mini' versions of snack foods are awesome. Smaller portions, fewer calories!......In reality, you eat twice as much because "they are smaller" and you feel just as guilty (dang you mini milano cookies!!!)


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In theory, it seems really difficult to drink all the water in one day that you're supposed to. "How am I supposed to drink SO MUCH liquid?"......In reality, you place a tasty bunch of beverages in front of me, and I can drink the required amount of liquid in no time....but it's not water!

In theory, you can wait to go to the bathroom until you get home. After all, it's a short commute, right?.....In reality, (and without fail) there's an accident causing back ups and delays, and you're sitting in your car doing the pee-pee dance.
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In theory, you'll just watch one episode of this new show that's on Netflix or On Demand.....In reality, you just binge-watched the entire season and lost track of an entire day. Oops!

In theory, you just need one thing from Target.....In reality, you're leaving with a cart full of bags and wondering how one thing turned into 25+!
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In theory, you're taking your dog out for a super quick walk because it's raining and storming and downright awful outside....In reality, your dog chooses this time to sniff every.single.thing outside, wander around aimlessly, and you end up being the wet dog of this outing!


Here's hoping this gave you a chuckle and that you're not the wet dog today :)

Happy Wednesday!

18 comments:

  1. So true about the water! I could drink lots of sweet tea. Too bad it's not good for you!!

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  2. These are so funny!! The license plate one - can't believe there is an entire tumbler!! Also, milano cookies...I can eat an entire bag and not feel bad about it...well until the next day! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  3. HAHAHA I absolutely LOVE this! Definitely checking out that license plate Tumblr. I've seen way too many that need to be on there. And I couldn't agree more about the water thing. At a restaurant I'll only drink like one glass of water but put a glass of wine in front of me and I'll have three before we leave :) Happy Wednesday girl!

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  4. These are all so true! The lions had me laughing out loud - I've def seen a few of those out front of small homes and always thought it looked so funny. And the vanity plates on cars? Ugh. What a waste of money!

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  5. Ahhh the first one!!! Johnson City, TN seems to be the birth place of lion statues in front of crappy houses! I also agree with the water intake. Why can't 8 glasses be the required amount of wine to have in a day? -Dorrie @ Bear Den Plantation

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  6. LMBO at all of this! I especially like the wine one. and the bathroom/commute is the story of my life. you'd be surprised at how many times I say to myself "I can make it home right"?

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  7. This post is hilarious!! So true! Love it!
    xo Emily
    www.fashioncolumntwins.com

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  8. Love these.. The water one is so true :) This is just what i needed

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  9. hahaha yessss! This is so funny I almost spit out my OJ (liquid of choice at the moment) everywhere! SO SO true! Nailed it today girl- I couldn't agree more and I'd like to share this post on Friday! :)

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  10. Love these, haha the Target one gets me every time. And Netflix, sometimes I get depressed when I think about how many hours I've spent watching shows. Oh well, I do love them.

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  11. i stopped going to target for that very reason!

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  12. Uhhh I hate those vanity/custom plates with a passion!!! Very fun post!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
    acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

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  13. This post cracked me up!! So funny!!

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  14. Love this post… these are all so true!! Especially the license plates and peeing before leaving work… gotta do it!!

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  15. I just started watching Girls on HBO with my roommates, and while we tell ourselves that will watch one episode after dinner...we all know its more like four or five! Also so true about Target...how does it have that power over us??

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  16. How funny! This is a really great post. I've never really understood the whole concept of having lions outside of your house... Maybe that's just me but it just makes it seem you have more money or a nicer house when in all reality it kinda sucks. But that's none of my business, lol *cue Kermit the frog meme*

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  17. This is awesome!!! Bullshit on your lips is hysterical! I love the lion post, lol. I did hear once its so they offer the house protection?!?!? Weird but whatever floats their boat!!!

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  18. Oh my gosh...everything from the mini snacks to the bottom is SO TRUE FOR ME lol. Thanks for posting this--hilarious!!!

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