Perspective

If you're not in the mood for a serious post today, then go ahead and click the little X button at the top of your screen now.

Every once in a while (and sometimes more than that), we get so caught up in our own drama, trials and tribulations that we lose perspective of the bigger picture. That's not to say that you don't have the right to feel your feelings about a situation you're in, because you do. But sometimes it's really easy to let that situation rule your thoughts, emotions and overall happiness and kind of consume you.

I'm talking in generalities, but this is personal to me. I debated about whether I should share it here in the blog world or not because it's private, and it's scary to open yourself up and bare your soul, especially with nosy, judgmental people out there, but it's life--my life--and it's real. 
MG and I have been trying to get pregnant for a while now, and it hasn't happened yet. In the beginning I hoped that it'd  "be easy for me" because I wanted it to be easy for me. After all, so many people around us were getting pregnant or announcing pregnancies, why shouldn't that be us, too? In addition to being ready, part of the reason we started trying sort of soon after getting married is that I'm 31 and I've never  TRIED to get pregnant in my life so I didn't know how easy or difficult it would be. 

In the beginning, whenever my period would come, it was depressing. I felt like my body was failing me, and it was hard not to get upset every month. And then one particularly emotional month, a friend of mine said something to me that changed my perspective for a bit:

"We spend all of our lives trying NOT to get pregnant, and when we do, and our body doesn't immediately do what we're asking, we get mad at it. It doesn't make sense." Those words resonated with me and I felt better about things for a while, more at peace.

Then we got some news recently that means it's likely going to be harder/take longer for us to get pregnant. I was devastated and so was MG, to know that something was "wrong". There were a couple of days of downright pity, sadness, tears, and "why me, why us?" kind of thoughts (on my part). It felt like a dark cloud had covered over us, and it just consumed me.

And then two days later, I met a new friend who has gone through something so unimaginable and heart breaking. She lost her husband of 5 years to Leukemia last May. She celebrated her 30th birthday and other holidays this year without her husband by her side. And she's living. And surviving. And making it through day by day. But she's strong. She isn't looking for pity, even as she's dealing with something so difficult, and upon meeting her, you'd never know that this happened just 8 months ago because she's making the best of each day and lives by the motto "All will be well."

And there I had been, wallowing in the fact that it' might be more difficult for us to have a baby, when she doesn't have her husband anymore, let alone the option of having a baby with him. And all of a sudden, perspective slapped me across the face and made me realize that I needed to really take a step back and focus on all of the amazing things that I DO have, instead of what I don't have. 
Perspective.
 Live in the now.
Gratitude.

How ironic that I posted this quote last Friday (in relation to something else) and then God/the Universe put this amazing woman in my path and gave me the biggest reality check in the form of perspective.

Does it make me want to be pregnant any less? No. Does it make me look around and realize how lucky I am to have each and every day that I have with my husband, who I love and adore, and who loves me back equally? Absolutely.
We get to have moments, just the two of us. We get to have moments where we experience something new together. We get to have moments where we disagree about something. We get to have moments doing mundane everyday things, but doing them together.
And we are lucky for it. 
I know someone now who would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

Everyone has challenges and obstacles in their lives, and sometimes they just aren't fair. But it's how you deal with them that matters. Challenges don't define you unless you let them. And they don't consume you, unless you let them. So, don't let them!

Take a second, step out of the present, and take stock of all the things around you that you have to be thankful for, instead of the things you wish would change. Because there's someone out there who is praying for your situation. Someone else who would gladly take on your "hardships".

Thanks for letting me get serious, deep and vulnerable with you guys. This was a scary post to write and hit Publish on. But, here goes....