I can't believe that your birthday weekend is already here (Saturday), reminding me of your birthday from last year. You'd come down with a pretty bad cold and were suffering through it. I didn't know then that it would be the last birthday that we had with you. I remember when I got to see you and give you your card, it was when you were in the hospital. I never thought at that point that you wouldn't be coming back home.
As I look back, I can't believe it's already been almost a year since everything happened. Mom and I have made it through, although with admitted struggles and breakdowns along the way. We miss you.
If you were here, I'd give you all the hugs I haven't been able to give you over the past 10 months. I know you'd light up when you saw me and my ever-growing bump, especially since you knew how hard a time we were having trying to get pregnant, and even during your hard days in the hospital, always asked how it was going. I'd relish you being able to feel this strong little girl kicking away, saying hi to her grandpa.
This year has been bittersweet with getting the news that we're pregnant, and not having you to share it with how I want to. I know in my heart that our little girl has met you already, before she made her way down here to be with us, and I know that you've been watching over us, making sure we're both okay, and that makes me feel so comforted. This little girl will definitely grow up knowing and hearing about her grandfather.
January 28th will always be the day that I celebrate the amazing man I had in my life, who loved me without limits, who taught me so much, encouraged me throughout life, and who I was lucky enough to call my dad.
We'll be seeing you on Sunday. It won't be the way that we want, and it won't be the same not being able to give you hugs and kisses like we normally did, but just know that we love you and miss you so so much.
Love Always (your favorite daughter :),