I've been struggling lately with how to "do it all". I felt it over the summer, some, but I had more time (nap time, and while Ella was playing) to tend to other things that needed to be done. Now that I'm back at work, and getting home around 4:30 every night...to a toddler who signs and says "eeeeeeeeat" to me until she's fed dinner, I'm really feeling the struggle of how do I do it all?
Last year MG was in a position at work where he could go in early and beat the insane traffic in our area, and he could leave at 3, be home around 3:30, get some things done around the house and even start dinner by the time I got home around 445/5. This summer, and this school year, he's been getting home later and later as the demands of a new office/position increase, along with a coworker quitting, dumping all of the work on him.
I know I'm not the only one to face this struggle, and I have no idea how single moms do it on the daily (seriously, I bow down to you). I am just struggling with this season right now. I'm treasuring every second of the evenings that I get with Ella, because those precious hours are all I have during the week. But it is hard when you get home, and immediately have to start making dinner, with a kid who just wants attention from you because she hasn't seen you all day, walk the dog, feed the dog, etc etc. It's not impossible, but it's definitely not without its fair share of stress.
In the season of trying for baby #2, MG and I had a talk the other night about how to do this, especially if we have a second kid. Because if he continues to have to work later, it will fall on me and I'm not sure I can handle it all, with another baby in the mix. I know that if he had the choice, he'd be home with us, but he's up for promotion this year and feeling the pull (and frankly, the need) for him to be there. He leaves at the earliest opportunity when he can, and I know he's doing his best to get home to us, because he WANTS to be with us. It's just hard.
I'm not even sure what the purpose of this post is, other than getting it out there, and maybe finding out how some other people do it, or just knowing that I'm not alone in this feeling (which I'm sure I'm not).
I would love to be able to push dinner from 5/515 to 5:30, but Ella literally comes into the house signing for "eat" since being at daycare. I know she's eating there, and eating well, according to the reports I get, so I don't understand the bottomless pit she seems to have as soon as we get home.
Any thoughts, ideas, comments or love you have to share are totally welcome.
I have no tips for you but I want you to know that I think you're doing an awesome job! And this season is only temporary! Hang in there, girl!
ReplyDeleteSarah at MeetTheShaneyfelts
You're definitely not alone!!! Hang in there-- you'll find a new groove soon. As far as cooking goes... we do ALL our cooking on Sundays and then only have to reheat stuff. It allows us to shove food in the kids' faces asap! XOXO, R
ReplyDeleteGirl I hear ya!! It's like when they are babies it's almost easier. As they get older they get more demanding..haha Add in the fact that your husband works later and it just gets hard. That has been our situation since Bowen was born because my husband works further away. Now that he is almost 3 he doesn't immediately demand dinner anymore, he'd rather play so it does get easier! My husband thinks Bowen needs a dog and I am like heck no!! I am not taking care of another thing by myself in the evenings. You are not alone in this, but we got it!!
ReplyDeleteOh and dinner isn't always guaranteed around our house. If I can occupy Bowen long enough I can come up with something quick otherwise it just doesn't happen.
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone! I have an hour commute from work, so by the time I pick up Alice, it's basically time for her dinner, bath and bed...IF she decides to go to sleep in a timely fashion. And then I'm exhausted and don't want to spend the time cleaning the house or preparing things for the next day. Can't a mama just have 2 hours to watch Bachelor in Paradise?!
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard. We are in the same boat and it sucks, But you have to do what works fo ryou. But like Rachel I prep meals on sundays and only do 3 a week. the other two are leftovers or we eat out/pick up something. It helps.
ReplyDeleteOh girl, my last six years were EXACTLY THIS. Unfortunately after living that for six years I still have no advice for you except for to just keep on doing what you're doing to keep your head above water. We have *finally* reached the point where Jacob and Olivia can entertain each other which makes the time in the evening when I'm trying to cook SO much easier. That said, you know I was also able to quit my job this past year and I cannot even tell you what a complete and utter GODSEND it has been. I don't take one second of it for granted. B was not keen on the idea for a loooong time and even he is thankful for the change because it has taken so much off of his plate. We've had to cut back here and there, but so far we've been able to make it work. Do you think leaving your job or going part-time would ever be an option for you?
ReplyDeleteIt's good to say out loud to each other when things are hard. Do other people have it harder? Always. It doesn't mean that you are not struggling where you are in your life right now, be it for the day, a few months, a few years, etc.
ReplyDeleteIs food prepping in advance and freezing an option?
Oh I feel you! My hubby and I have this same conversation on a regular basis. We both work full-time and trying to balance work, house work, dinner, our 1 year old and still finding time to exercise... it's hard! When I get home it's snuggle the kiddo and start dinner so we can eat at a resonable time followed by bedtime routine and bed for her. My poor husband feels like he never sees our daughter at night because by time he gets home, it's dinner then bed.
ReplyDeleteIt's rough. I remind myself that everyone says its just a phase and temporary, but it's hard to juggle it all.
What I've found to be helpful is that working in the schools means I do get those vacations which helps plus my contract is 80% so I get every Friday off. I'm blessed that my school district offers that flexibility- having that extra day really helps at home. Not so much with my caseload... but at home at least! The other thing that's been really helpful is my crockpot. It's so easy to prep it the night before and toss it in the fridge and the next morning, just put it in and turn it on. When I get home, it's done.
Hang in there momma... you're not alone!!
Oh girl the struggle is for real! I love my job, but I also love my time at home. The hours between getting out of work and Serena's bedtime are rough. She goes right into the bath (because daycare germs), then it's on the cooking dinner, her fussing through dinner, and then playtime before bedtime. It's a whirlwind, and I'm trying to treasure the time but it's tough. I also can't imagine adding another kiddo into the mix. I know people do it all the time, but I don't know how! Ha! Sending lots of hugs, we will look back and miss these days <3
ReplyDeleteGreen Fashionista
I wish I had some great advice for you but it is just a hard season. I don't work away from home any more but I still feel overwhelmed some times trying to take care of a toddler, our home, the dog, myself, and get a little work done while my husband is gone during the week. Just do the best you can and remember that Ella will never remember that you left dirty dishes in the sink or if you took the easy route on dinner. I will say one thing that helped me with dinner sometimes is prepping a lot of our food the night before or in a big batch over the weekend so I didn't get so flustered trying to cook by myself with an impatient toddler. Sending hugs to you mama!
ReplyDeleteWhat about having a snack for Ella in the car..something to take the edge off and keep her happy so you don't feel so much pressure?
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree about freezer meals. I pull those out at least once a week.
All I can say is I am sending you prayers right now. This season is definitely tough for you guys. It is hard to handle it all and feel like a stay at home mom when you are also working. I feel for you in that MG is up for a promotion, so you have to take more on. I have been there. It is hard. Especially with a toddler at Ella's age. I am here if you need to vent or just talk :)
ReplyDelete