1 in 8

1 in 8 couples struggles with infertility.
I am the 1 in 8.

You may be seeing that number, along with various personal experiences around blog world, social media, etc because it's National Infertility Awareness Week.

Infertility and fertility challenges can feel isolating. I struggled with sharing our journey when we were going through it because it was personal, and I didn't know if I wanted our struggle out there for ridicule or judgement, but what I realized about opening up, was that I was helping myself to work through the emotions I was experiencing. And as I opened up, I helped others. If someone was out there judging me, I didn't know about it, and it didn't matter, because I felt better, and the people I was connecting with made me aware that I was helping others by sharing.

{Via a post on Instagram}

So here I am, shining a light on the struggle, once again.

If you've been a reader here for a while, you've read it and been alongside me. And if you're new here, maybe this will help you.

My husband and I started trying to get pregnant pretty quickly after getting married since we'd been together for a while, and were both in our early 30's.  I knew several friends who had dealt with infertility and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it would be our journey too (although I was terrified of that being the case).

After over a year of trying, tracking ovulation, etc. we were still not pregnant and I decided to reach out to a fertility clinic nearby with a great reputation for a consultation.

We did testing and came up with no real reason for our fertility issues (unexplained infertility) which was a relief but also frustrating. Why wasn't this happening for us?

We started with several rounds of IUIs which didn't work. I think we did about 8 or 9 rounds of it before finally going the IVF route--looking back, I wish we had done IVF sooner, but at the time I was scared and just hoping we could get pregnant without IVF.

Luckily it worked for us on our first try, and we have our perfect daughter, Ella, and two other beautiful little embryos waiting in case we need them.

I wrote about our entire IVF journey here, so feel free to read through the details, because mine wasn't all needles and pain. It was a journey and a process, but one that I would do over again in a heartbeat to have my daughter.

If you're reading this and haven't struggled with infertility, you likely know someone who has. A lot of what people tell you is the things NOT to say (like any in the above photo), but without ways to support.
Check out this post for things NOT to say and things TO say/do.

If you're going through fertility struggles, you're not alone. If you need support, reach out to me and to the other girls in blog world who have shared their journeys. We're here to support one another, including you.

{WHW}: Looking Back

Happy Wednesday, and the first day of November!

What's hap-"pinning" around here is a lot of reminiscing...

Thanks to Facebook timehop, I've been thinking about how different things were a year ago, and especially 2 years ago.

Last year right around this time (give or take about a week), we had officially announced that we had a baby brewing:

I remember coming home from our 12 week doctor's appointment and MG teasing me that he knew I couldn't wait a minute longer to share the news. We'd waited SO long for our little miracle baby and the fact that we were pregnant and past the first trimester scares was such an amazing feeling.

Rewind a year prior to that and we had just gone in for our first consultation with our fertility doctors, with plans to start our first round of IUI in November. Obviously those didn't work, and I believe it's because our little Ellabear was just waiting for the right combo of "us" to grace us with her presence.

And now, two years after that we have our little girl--the one I dreamed about and prayed for for months and years. And she's even better than I ever could have imagined. I catch myself just starring at her sometimes, in disbelief that she's real and she's ours. I have moments where I look in my rearview mirror while driving, and see this gorgeous girl looking back at me and remember the days where I longed for that seat to be full. 

I can remember what life was like without Ella, but it feels so foreign to me and I can't imagine it being any other way now.

Struggling with infertility has truly made me love and appreciate our Ella-bear so much more. The last 6 months have been hard, figuring out this parenting/mom thing (I'm not sure I'll ever have it figured out), and doing it with less sleep than I'm used to, and taking things day-by-day (not my strength), but it has seriously been filled with some of my happiest moments. Seeing MG as a dad, and watching him with Ella makes me love him even more than I thought I could have before. Our family was always supposed to be like this, it's just finally the right time.

Honestly, I don't know where this post is going other than I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the prayers you all and our friends/family prayed for us along our journey. I'm thankful for all of the support from friends and family from infertility to parenthood. I'm thankful for my Dad who I know is watching over our baby girl each and every day (and I'm sure had a hand in bringing us our Ella). I'm thankful for my husband who held my hand through this journey, and continues to walk beside me being the best daddy, husband and best friend I could have ever imagined or hoped for. And I'm thankful for this little face, those tiny hands, kicky legs, the smiles and giggles...our perfect package:

Ok, now I've got to go and wipe down my keyboard from the tears. In the meantime, YOU share what's hap-"pinning" with you by linking up with Jessi and I below:

National Infertility Awareness Week

It's been super hectic at work this week and I've had almost no time to blog, but I couldn't let this week go by without mentioning that it's National Infertility Awareness Week.

{via}

I know there are people out there who are dealing with the ups and downs of infertility, some out loud and some in silence.

To those of you out there, I just want you to know that you're not alone. I know the pain of each pregnancy announcement on Facebook or in blog land. I know the pain of watching your friends' baby celebrate their first birthday when you were trying to get pregnant the same time they were. I know how it feels to dread getting your period every month. And I know the struggles of making your life revolve around trips to a fertility clinic.

I also know the things that people say, that make you angry, or want to cry. Yes, they're just saying those things to try and empathize or to help, but they don't realize how hard those things are to hear. (And for those of you supporting someone through infertility, I'll re-post something that I posted a while back about things you should and shouldn't say).

It's ok to be angry. It's ok to struggle to be fully happy for someone else when they tell you they're pregnant, and just wish that for once it was you. It's ok to cry and grieve. This process isn't easy on anyone, physically, mentally or emotionally.

I've learned so much about myself by going through infertility. I'm stronger than I thought I was. I'm  able to face fears better than I was before. And most importantly, I've grown closer to my husband through this process of getting our miracle baby, as well as discovering a whole network of incredible women who are always willing to listen, support, and lend an ear or shoulder to cry on or celebrate with.

Keep the faith. Keep rooting yourself on. If you need a cheerleader, I'm cheering you on!